The Basement Files

A month that’s filled with fun

Hamble

Hamble

Well, I’m still waiting to hear from President Obama’s current Chief of Staff on whether anyone has passed gas on Air Force One yet. Eager minds are yearning to find out. But until that happens, we’ve got many things to celebrate this month.

February, like every month on the calendar, is filled with events, holidays and observances. For example, February is most famous as Black History Month, and most infamous for Valentine’s Day (and for your information all you single ladies out there, if you’re looking for a bachelor with a sense of humor, and is affectionately known as “the sandwich MacGuyver,” I’m your man). The second month also has some lesser known celebrations and observances. Some are downright wacky and stupid, which brings us to this week’s column.

Freelance Writer’s Appreciation Week

Monday through Saturday is Freelance Writer’s Appreciation Week, my favorite week of the year. But I must say, I’m disappointed that I haven’t received any cards, shout-outs, thank yous, hearty handshakes or even a hug. We freelance writers could use a hug or two you know, what with all the lounging around in damp and musty basements, the lack of real human contact, kept company by the low hum of the fans in my computer as I tap away on the keys. We’re people too, you know. Smelly and a little homely, but still people. Maybe I should start celebrating “Quirky Alone Day” Feb. 14.

Groundhog Day

Last Saturday was Groundhog Day, probably the most famous of February’s “stupid” celebrations. I blame it on the cold. Our brains have frozen to the point where we look to a groundhog for some hope of relief from the numbing winds, snow, and inevitable patch of inconvenient ice. But I digress, I put up with it because it’s kind of fun, and it’s slowly turned into an excuse for people to drink way too much hard cider in the wee hours of the morning. If you’re over 21 years old, that’s not a necessarily a bad thing, unless you have to work that day.

G.I. Joe Day

Last Friday was G.I. JOE Day. A real American day for a real American hero. Go JOE. Now where is our “Transformers” Day?

National Margarita Day

Friday, Feb. 22, (fortunately) is National Margarita Day. I don’t know about you, but I always liked mine “on the rocks,” and not blended. But that’s not really important. What is important is what happens a scant few days later.

Daytona 500

The green flag drops Feb. 24 on the start of NASCAR racing season. It’s a glorious season that begins with NASCAR’s defining race, followed a few weeks later by the March start of the Formula 1 season. Two sports where man’s technical prowess is put to the limit. They are the melding of man and machine when the driver’s abilities are tested by maneuvering vehicles with pinpoint accuracy at 200-plus MPH. If I could do that Tim Allen “grunt” thing, this is where I would do it.

These are but a few of the celebrations and observances held in February. I only have a few short paragraphs to share them readers. Besides, if I shared any more, you’d probably start saying, “For Pete’s sake,” because, as we know, “For Pete’s Sake Day” is Feb. 26.

Chris Hamble is a freelance writer and humor columnist serving newspapers in Minnesota and Wisconsin, and is a lifelong Stillwater resident.

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